Friendly Advice
by LesbiniOne
Summary: Brittany's hot for Rachel. The chase is on. Sequel to "Math Isn't Always Hard". There will be chapters for this story, but for this outing, the rating is pretty tame. Femslash.


Quinn was sitting on the bed in the spare bedroom of Brittany's house-her new home since the baby drama had come to a head- engrossed in homework. Brittany wandered in and plopped down on the bed next to her.

"Hey Q."

"Hey B, what's up?"

Brittany fidgeted on the bed, "I need some help with something."

Quinn glanced over at her, "You having problems with Spanish again?"

"Yeah, but that's not what I need help with. At least, not right this second…"

Quinn looked up at her with an arched brow.

Brittany continued, "I need help on how to get Rachel to like me."

Quinn was confused. "Britt, I'm sure Rachel likes you. _Everyone_ likes you."

"I know she likes me, but I want her to _like me_ like me," Brittany clarified. "I want her to be my girlfriend."

Quinn was surprised, shocked and mortified. Not necessarily in that order. Her brain was reeling with questions, but she settled on the one foremost on her mind. "Britt, are you saying you're gay?"

Brittany just shrugged with nonchalance, "Probably."

"Okay…," Quinn moved on to her next question. "And you want to be gay with Manhands?"

Brittany frowned. "Rachel doesn't have man hands. They're actually kinda small and cute, like monkey paws."

The pregnant teen chose to ignore the creepy monkey paw comment and moved on to her third, and the potentially most explosive question, "What about Santana?"

Brittany gave her a blank look. "What about Santana?"

Quinn hesitated, "Well…isn't there, I mean…aren't you two…you know, together or something?"

"Oh, that's just sex. Sex isn't dating and I want to date Rachel." She thought for a second, "Well, I guess I want to have sex with Rachel, too. I want both." She finished with a smile.

"Oh my GOD," Quinn protested. "If I help you, you have to promise me you will never mention the words 'sex' and 'Rachel' in the same sentence ever again." She shuddered for effect.

"Okay," Brittany agreed.

"So…have you told Rachel that you like her?"

Brittany's brow furrowed, "Sort of. I mean, I told her she was hot and then I invited her over to watch Britney Spears videos. Oh, and I pulled her hair."

There were so many things wrong with Brittany's sentence that Quinn didn't even know where to start. The Rachel being hot thing she would just have to ignore. Britney Spears videos were perplexing, but she had to go with the hair pulling thing. "Why did you pull her hair?"

"Duh, it's in all the movies. When a boy likes a girl, he pulls her pigtails. Only, Rachel doesn't have pigtails so I just had to pull her regular hair."

Quinn covered her mouth to keep from busting out laughing at the image. Laughter under control, she removed her hand and eyes bright with mirth asked, "What did she do?"

"She made a frowny face at me and told me to quit it. Then she said something about finding my ass pleasing but that she wasn't inclined 'that way'. I don't get it Q, why would she like my ass but then say she wasn't that way?"

Quinn had to dig deep into her dictionary of Brittany-Speak , but it finally occurred to her what Rachel Berry must've said. "She finds you _aesthetically_ pleasing, Britt. It means she thinks you're pretty."

Brittany smiled brightly and Quinn couldn't help but return the smile.

"So how do I get her to be 'that way' and go out with me?" Brittany queried.

"Well, she may not be that way. There may not be anything you CAN do, sweetie."

Brittany's shouldered sagged and her lip began to tremble. Quinn rushed to reassure her, "But…you know, you could always try doing nice things for her and just be yourself, B. Maybe Stubbles will come around."

Brittany nodded and then because negativity wasn't something that ever settled on her for long, she perked up, "Yeah, okay, I can do that!" Then she looked semi-sternly at Quinn and added, "You know Q, when Rachel's my girlfriend you're going to have to quit making fun of her."

Quinn fought the urge to roll her eyes and grumble. Picking out new derogatory nicknames for Rachel Berry was one of the few joys left in her life. But…for Brittany, for Brittany she would quit. "FINE," she agreed.

Brittany leaned over and gave her a big side hug and kiss on the cheek, "Thanks Quinn." She started to get up but was stopped by Quinn's hand on her arm and the intent look on her face.

"Listen, you might want to go ahead and double-check with S before you start pursuing Rachel."

She finished with a smirk of a smile on her lips, "Because, it's not going to matter if you get Berry as a girlfriend if after that, Santana shanks a bitch."


End file.
